بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh!
Well sisters, it's 1433! (That's the year according to the Islamic calendar.) I thought we could start this year with a little inspiration, so this is an interview with a 14 year old Khadeejah (also known as Revert Muslimah). Just who is Khadeeja and what is her story? :)Read to find out more!
Little Auntie: "Tell us a little about yourself". :)
Khadeejah: "Well, my name is Khadeejah, I'm 14 and I live in Canada. I'm the middle child ( there's 3 of us ) and the only Muslim in my family, yet. Alhamdulillah I said my Shahadah on January 11th 2010, have been "lovin' the Deen" since then! :) I speak Spanish,English and French but know a little bit of Urdu and Arabic. I love learning new languages, reading and gaining knowledge."
Little Auntie: Wow, 14 years old! And you said your Shahada almost two years ago! So that would make you 12 when you took your Shahada, ma'shaAllah. Can you tell us, what made you interested in Islam?
Khadeejah: I've always been interested in religion, ever since I was a child. I'd always ask my grandmother questions about Christianity, which is the religion she preached but didn't follow. She could never answer my questions, and told me not even the priest could. I found it odd, but I was young, and I moved on.
In the 6th grade, I started thinking again. About our existence, our purpose. It felt odd that we were just supposed to live, and die. Without any real task, per say. So I started asking fellow classmates about their religions. Most of them just said they went to their place of worship, celebrated religious holidays, but didn't really know much about it. I went on to asking them if they could give me books, but SubhanALLAH, only Muslims were kind enough to give me books. They would even miss their lunch hours, to answer my questions and concerns, for which I was very grateful.
I did some research online, and I was sure that Islaam was the truth. I was sure that I wanted to be a Muslim. My heart, my mind, everything told me, THIS IS THE TRUTH! Unfortunately, something kept me back. FEAR. I was scared of what everybody would think. What my parents would do if they found out. The popular girl, a mozlam( muslim )?! Their daughter, a terrorist?!
Yet again, I let it go. The difference being, I was heartbroken.
In 7th grade, I started hanging out with a few Muslim sisters. Although not very practising, they still held "most" Islamic values. Of course, I still had my other friends but they started to shun me as they saw me slowly change. I stopped going to school dances. I started wearing long, loose clothing. I no longer spoke to boys, in the way which I used to. Everybody was confused. People at school thought I was doing it for my friends, my family and teachers believed I was raped, and to this day still do so. A few months later, on January 11th 2010 Alhamdulillah I said my Shahadah.
I remember the day very clearly. I skipped school to do it. It was a Monday I believe, and the time was around 6:30pm. My heart vigorously beating in my chest. It felt as though it might escape any second!
Tears flowing down my face, I managed to stumble out the words "Ash HaduAllaa Ilaaha Il-lallaah Wa Ash Hadu Anna Muhabbadur Rasullalah" The testimony of faith, that would change my life forever...
Little Auntie: Takbir! Allahu Akbar! Praise be to Allah, the Almighty!
SubhanAllah, your story made me really emotional. I think fear is something that keeps a lot of us from doing what we know is right. Alhamdillah that you were able to overcome that fear! You said that your family and teachers believed that you were doing it for your friends. What did your friends think?
Khadeejah: My Muslim friends were shocked, but at the same time happy. That was only at first. Later on as I started taking the Deen more seriously, started Hijaab, etc, they weren't as thrilled. They still to this day tell me I need to "calm down" and "Have fun" subhanAllah. The non-Muslim ones just slowly stopped talking to me, and just now have started to get comfortable enough to ask me questions. Overall, I lost most of my friends but Alhamdulillah made new ones who help me get closer to Allah with daily remembrance, and those are the true friends.
Little Auntie: I'm sorry to hear that you lost some of your friends or that you were Muslims friends weren't 'as thrilled'. It sounds like you went through a lot when you became a Muslim. What do you think was the hardest point you faced?
Khadeejah: I think the hardest point I faced, and to this day still face is with my family.
Getting them to understand me, accept me. They still don't approve of my Hijaab, and I have to be sneaky about it. The countless times that I was caught, and my hijaabs/jilbaabs were thrown away I cannot count with both hands. Apart from that is the emotional toll that their disapproval takes on me.
I've been called a "failure" and many similar things by all of my family members, and soon you begin to believe it. You begin to think of yourself as a loser, the black sheep, when really Alhamdulillah it's a good thing :) Alhamdulillah, things are getting better but please remember me in your Du'as inshaAllah.
Little Auntie: What kept you from giving up?
Khadeejah: To be honest, I don't know. Something just always raised my Imaan and I got back on my feet. I would realize how foolish I was being, and kept reminding myself that this is my test from ALLAH Ta'ala and ;
Verily, With Hardship Comes Ease (Surah al-Sharh,94)
I'd be depressed for sometime of course, but then I'd read Qur'aan and make Du'a and suddenly I felt much better. My reason to live, my love and devotion for Islam and my fear for Allah (SWT) always overcame any sadness or fear of what my parents might do.
Little Auntie: Alhamdulillah!!! SubhanAllah! Khadeejah, can I give you a big hug? I know this test has been hard for you but I pray that it will elevate your ranks and that you will be united with Khadeejah, the wife of Prophet Mohammed and Prophet Mohammed in jannatul firdaous. I wish too that I could meet you...if not not, also in jannah <3 And one last thing! I want you to know that you're not a black sheep or a loser or anything like that and that you are right. Verily with hardship comes ease. You're someone incredibly special.
I am honored to be able to call you my sister.